I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
