youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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