There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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