idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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