I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
