I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
