I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
