Texts From Last Night

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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"

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  (610): my new favorite insult= "thundercunt" http://tfl.nu/7c82
  Replies (48) Good night (4154) Bad night (650)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.

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  (440): woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out. http://tfl.nu/7ruz
  Replies (28) Good night (1377) Bad night (5124)
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  Just got walked in on during safety inspections

  (828): View more from North Carolina

  Think you passed?

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  (910): Just got walked in on during safety inspections (828): Think you passed? http://tfl.nu/r9km
  Replies (20) Good night (3753) Bad night (1034)
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  (786): View more from Florida

  She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick

  (305): View more from Florida

  I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.

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  (786): She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick (305): I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius. http://tfl.nu/szcg
  Replies (18) Good night (3894) Bad night (1547)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho

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  (314): Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho http://tfl.nu/t3tj
  Replies (11) Good night (3872) Bad night (1209)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.

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  (206): I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe. http://tfl.nu/2cd4
  Replies (4) Good night (1758) Bad night (683)
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  (647): View more from Ontario

  My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?

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  (647): My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy? http://tfl.nu/waaq
  Replies (14) Good night (3346) Bad night (1310)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  he's gonorrhea incarnate

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  (201): he's gonorrhea incarnate http://tfl.nu/krir
  Replies (2) Good night (465) Bad night (1328)
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  (916): View more from California

  If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.

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  (916): If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it. http://tfl.nu/e2co
  Replies (5) Good night (692) Bad night (1006)
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  (818): View more from California

  Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.

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  (818): Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle. http://tfl.nu/73xi
  Replies (4) Good night (1146) Bad night (321)
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  (312): View more from Illinois

  I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.

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  (312): I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that. http://tfl.nu/kiyu
  Replies (1) Good night (576) Bad night (251)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Did you run away?

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  I DANCED AWAY.

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  (615): I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat (615): And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing (203): Did you run away? (615): I DANCED AWAY. http://tfl.nu/ipjx
  Replies (1) Good night (830) Bad night (354)
• Favorite

  (585): View more from New York

  if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake

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  (585): if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake http://tfl.nu/burq
  Replies (2) Good night (448) Bad night (275)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water

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  (614): You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water http://tfl.nu/21tc
  Replies (1) Good night (1066) Bad night (222)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.

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  (405): Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk. http://tfl.nu/nrcu
  Replies (0) Good night (337) Bad night (157)

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