Texts From Last Night

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  (847): View more from Illinois

  Farmville is her only friend.

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  (847): Farmville is her only friend. http://tfl.nu/6s8i
  Replies (55) Good night (959) Bad night (5782)
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  (705): View more from Ontario

  Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this

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  (705): Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this http://tfl.nu/08vw
  Replies (40) Good night (1957) Bad night (6673)
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.

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  (918): I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation. http://tfl.nu/6ld9
  Replies (6) Good night (1033) Bad night (2842)
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  (518): View more from New York

  Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?

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  (518): Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation? http://tfl.nu/dtaz
  Replies (11) Good night (2350) Bad night (2552)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.

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  (978): He was like a foghorn with a huge penis. http://tfl.nu/5kl8
  Replies (3) Good night (1839) Bad night (1075)
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  (270): View more from Kentucky

  you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.

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  (270): you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you. http://tfl.nu/d78n
  Replies (8) Good night (2609) Bad night (899)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.

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  (775): She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo. http://tfl.nu/1nmk
  Replies (15) Good night (972) Bad night (3969)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.

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  (515): Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad. http://tfl.nu/2fcz
  Replies (7) Good night (2465) Bad night (647)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy

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  (201): Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy http://tfl.nu/ijnw
  Replies (1) Good night (970) Bad night (513)
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.

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  (785): I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving. http://tfl.nu/gaew
  Replies (5) Good night (1452) Bad night (432)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.

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  (+44): First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve. http://tfl.nu/g7kr
  Replies (2) Good night (536) Bad night (1194)
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.

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  (920): I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence. http://tfl.nu/l65g
  Replies (1) Good night (439) Bad night (326)
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  (763): View more from Minnesota

  Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?

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  (763): Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows? http://tfl.nu/olyh
  Replies (1) Good night (398) Bad night (219)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?

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  (360): He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis? http://tfl.nu/sjic
  Replies (2) Good night (437) Bad night (244)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket

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  (732): we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket http://tfl.nu/jr4p
  Replies (2) Good night (392) Bad night (132)

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