Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(949): View more from California

i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit

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(210): View more from Texas

stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown

(281): View more from Texas

Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps

Fav 22 1169 1993
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(563): View more from Iowa

Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade

Fav 63 59687 1898
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(917): View more from New York City

you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit

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19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
Read it at the TFLN blog
(401): View more from Rhode Island

This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.

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(815): View more from Illinois

It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.

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(214): View more from Texas

hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned

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(425): View more from Washington

I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.

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