Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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