Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
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Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
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You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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