I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize