i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
