i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Randomize
