ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
