you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
