is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize