I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
