I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Damn victory sex feels great
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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