help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
