When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
