Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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