I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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