You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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