if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
my shit smells like andre
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
he just fucked me for my cheese.