Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
