Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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