My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
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