it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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