He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
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