You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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