Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
