in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
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