we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
