I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Drunk is not a location!
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
