i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
