She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Randomize
