my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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