I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
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