I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Randomize
