i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
