Your tits are I can't wait for
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
We left the knife in your bed.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
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