And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
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Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
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you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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