shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
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