did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
