using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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