make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
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