was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
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