Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
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