Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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