True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
