so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
The struggles of a small town man whore
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
