Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
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