Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize