he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Randomize