Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Randomize