I puked a lego.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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