im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
