I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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