Ambien. No doubt about it.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
My vagina just recognized that song.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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